raeisuhhh's Journals on Buzznet http://raeisuhhh.buzznet.com/user/journal/ en-us <![CDATA[everybody has an addiction to a drug.]]> http://raeisuhhh.buzznet.com/user/journal/1990581/ I came to the conclusion drugs are all around.
Some legal some illegal.
Some obvious drugs other not so obvious.
Whether it be a person, activity or an actual street drug like coke.
they are all addictive.
They lure you in and when your lips meet its like a feeling you never had before.
Your mind goes crazy and you can't think straight.
time will stand still and it will seem like an eternity that you were there in that moment.
A moment of clarity where you know that the drug your with is the one you want always and can never be replaced.
you say in your head to that drug "You are the one i want, you are the one i want to spend the rest of my life with"
Overtime you just enjoy having the drug around but soon it becomes an addiction, you just won't feel right without that drug being there so what do you do?
you let it all out; all those things you have said in your head.
Hopefully the drug will feed the same things right back to you.
this is the downfall of drugs, they can trick you into thinking they like you back cause you hear what you want to hear.
And everybody just wants to be wanted so we hear the "i love you too" when it might be just a "yeah.... me too i guess"... it sounds so different when you read it but when you hear it coming from your drug it sounds so different.
The drug was just messing with your head...
Soon you find yourself giving up everything for the drug... your hopes, dreams, wishes and friends.
Now comes the downfall you and your drug begin to drift away cause you don't have that same high anymore. You still like them but you don't get that same rush.
So you decide that you will start to take yourself away from the drug whether it be slowly or a clean rip like a band-aid.
No matter what though it seems to hurt. Its the withdrawal.
The truth to finding happiness is to find the person that is your drug and hope that person sees you as a drug.
and that rarely happens... so when you think you have it hold on to it tight and just breathe it all in....

]]> addiction catherine catherinerae drugs love rae teenage love teenager Buzznet raeisuhhh 2008-03-14T11:37:00Z <![CDATA[I'm so confused....]]> http://raeisuhhh.buzznet.com/user/journal/1954521/ okay well lets intorduce the characters in this story:

There is my ex Dan- very nice sweet funny, we dated back in june i broke up with him because i got scared because all my previous relationships ended up horrible and i wanted to destory the realationship before i got destroyed emotionally.

There is Ry- he was my finace and i'm in love with him so i think... we are taking a break until he gets back to the states. i miss him a lot we've been dating since january of this year

There is Pete- my friends boyfriend for over an year now... we have sex just to have sex... basically friends with benefits i have known him for over an year now. he came out to me saying he is torn between me, ashley and this other girl. (I'm not worried about the other girl). I think i kinda like him.

I'm really confused and don't know what i want or what to do. Dan had came back into my life today and its just wow... i really do miss him and all those feelings are coming back however there is Ry... he truely amazes me and i love him a lot too (so i think). Dan would support me with whatever i do. Ry i know would never use me. Pete is well pete he is kinda in the background but he is a friend of one of those other guys.


what should i do?

i'm so so so confused

]]> catherine catherinerae confused dan love pete rae ry stressed Buzznet raeisuhhh 2008-03-07T16:55:00Z <![CDATA[and the world will stay busy and im just watching....]]> http://raeisuhhh.buzznet.com/user/journal/1928851/
can we say cabin fever?


I could actually move out today. My house is offically done and way ahead of schedule. Not a good thing cause i actually can't leave my house or even drive. Its so so so so i don't know what it is but its something bad i'll tell you.

any advice please give it...

]]> bed rest catherine catherine rae cystic ovaries moving new house ovaries rae sick Buzznet raeisuhhh 2008-03-03T10:05:00Z <![CDATA[bed rest fuckin sucks hxc]]> http://raeisuhhh.buzznet.com/user/journal/1913511/ it proves how fast i can get cabin fever.

the pain still won't go away its jst fucking there

the product of me being on bed rest is no school therefore no work therefore me staying at home making a new buzznet....

hit me up
]]> bed bed rest bored boring catherine catherinerae new buzznet rae school sick Buzznet raeisuhhh 2008-02-29T09:40:00Z